Words to Live By

I've decided to start a new blog posting called "Words to Live By" (how original, I know). Whenever I come across passages or lyrics or a quote, something I find inspiring, I'll throw it up on my blog under this highly original heading for your reading pleasure. Today's words are brought to you by e.e. cummings from "dive for dreams".

"...trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)...

...yours is the light by which my spirit's born:
yours is the darkness of my soul's return
-you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars"

New Year, New You?

I hope that everyone had an enjoyable Christmas. Mine was wonderful...it was so nice to relax with family and good food, making memories to cherish for a lifetime. I adore my family and what "togetherness" has come to mean for us.

And now, as one year comes to a close and we encroach upon the beginnings of a clean slate, it's hard not to reflect upon that which we wish we could change, or that which we hope for our lives in the coming year. I dislike resolutions, as so often, they are lofty and easily broken...you know, "I want to lose 65 pounds by March"...those types of things that are, well, just impossible. After doing some thinking, I have come up with the decision for how I want to live my life and there's no better time to implement this change than the new year. "Live and let live" is going to be my new take on things...it's as simple (and as complicated) as that.

Wish me luck! I wish you all the best in any resolutions you have for the coming year as well!

Bells Will Be Ringing...

My first attempt at homemade caramel corn.

I know in one of my more recent posts, I said how it was a goal to blog more...and I haven't. The holidays have kept me so busy! I've been baking so much! This year, I've decided to put together treat boxes for my friends. So, I made caramel corn and cashew and pecan turtles the other night. Also, I made angel food candy for the first time, which was more like a chemistry experiment. It was delicious fun, though.

I think that...partially, I'm attempting to stay busy so I don't have moments of...static air. I don't want to sit around thinking too much. I loved him. He didn't love me. I did what had to be done. I wish I had a box for him. A box of him...of us...that could contain everything I don't want to see or think about...so that I won't be going steady on some idle Tuesday and suddenly be blind-sided by the slightest detail because...I saw X, Y, or Z. A box I could uncover behind closed doors in quiet hours on my time. I'm sure none of this makes sense. I get it.

The first tree I've ever decorated alone!

Presents are wrapped and the tree has been trimmed. The house is decorated...we most certainly will have a white Christmas. I'm pretty sure everything on my mental checklist has been crossed-off!

I'm planning Christmas dinners and brunches...and am ecstatic to be cooking. I think that one of the reasons I love cooking so much is because the world just...goes away. The noise of everything just...dissipates. I get to take all these seemingly separate pieces and find a way to marry them...to create something delicious. For me, cooking is love. It's my joy.

I hope this holiday season, you find your joy.

A road near my home. Isn't the snow pretty?

Snowed In! (Not Quite...)

We're about to be under our first winter weather advisory of the season. It begins at midnight tonight and goes until 6 p.m. tomorrow. We're only supposed to get two-to-four inches of snow, so it's hardly anything.  I won't even be out on the road. I will, however, be at home, decorating the condo for Christmas, which is exciting. I also like the prospect of doing this while snow falls outside my window. It's just so...picturesque. What would make it even more Hallmark-perfect is if I had the fireplace going while I did it all. I hope you stay warm!

Be the Change...

I can't say I've ever been particularly fond of the cold. Or the snow. The shoveling, the scraping. No thank you. But this year, I look forward to it. Maybe it's the holidays and all the happiness they bring. My heart just overflows with love and affection for my family and friends. I know there is absolutely no place I would rather be than in this moment. And the snow is so white and pure. It blankets the Earth, covering her in newness and fresh beginnings. It brings me joy.

As I stare outside at the quiet, slumbering world on this bitter cold night, I think of the snow and I can't help but be inspired for the changes I want in my life, too. The new beginnings I dare to venture.

• I want to be more accountable to myself in my everyday living including my healthy living habits. This includes mindful eating, working out, practicing yoga on a regular basis and keeping in touch with my spiritual life. Also, of course, Weight Watchers...which is going well! Hooray

• I need to write more. Writing for fun is good exercise for the mind. Journaling my thoughts is healthy and its like I'm having a conversation with myself, which is good, I think.

• Keeping up with my schoolwork is very important and this first semester is two weeks from coming to an end! I have As in all my classes, which is great! Two more semesters and I'll be done. Adding coding to my transcription program was a good move. It was an additional semester, but in the long run, it will be worth it. It will make me more marketable and it will mean a higher salary or pay grade. And, it's only three more months. 

• I need to be a good advocate for myself in appealing the decision my medical insurance company made regarding the neurostimulator. Knowledge is power, so it is important that I get as much information on my case as possible. It's just going to be me against them, so I'm really going to be in this. But, anything of value has never been easy. 

What do you hope to see change for your life? Or, do you wish for things to stay the same? 

And the Verdict is...

I held the white envelope in my hands and was hopeful for what was inside. But, part of me already knew. I tried so hard to ignore that part as I tore open the back. The first sentence said everything I needed to know: "The request for neurostimulator trial has been denied." My heart sank and I became instantly angry. So angry, in fact, I began to feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks. This had always been a possibility, and I knew it was a long-shot, but I had this flicker of hope that everything would go through. I picked up the letter again. "The reason is as follows: Not medically necessary--the services your provider requested were not necessary. The information sent was reviewed and did not support the request for the neurostimulator trail." I giggled a little through my tears at their typo. "The services your provider requested were not necessary?" What. The. Fuck. Wouldn't my "provider" know my case better than some suit in an office? I know that what my insurance company wants is for me to throw more medication at the problem. What does it matter to them if I have liver failure by the time I'm 30? Medicine isn't always the answer. There are alternative therapies available, but they aren't always as cost-efficient, so too often, they get ruled-out as an option. Well, I'm not just going to grab my ankles on this one. This is a fight worth fighting. They gave me 45 days and two different addresses to which I can write letters of appeal, which I will most definitely be doing. I will be calling my doctors to get medical records tomorrow, just so I can be sure I include all the right facts and my verbiage is correct.

What really makes me mad is that if I had privately held insurance, this probably wouldn't be an issue. But because I'm on BadgerCare, it's a problem. United Healthcare is the insurance company providing the coverage. If I were to take out a policy on my own through United, they'd have no qualms about covering the neurostimulator. But, at the end of the day, it all comes down to money. And BadgerCare - Medicaid - is the least amount of (nearly) free healthcare coverage for the insured at the the lowest dollar for the insurer.

I'm beyond pissed. This is, of course, the more formal way to go about getting things done (if they'll even give my case a chance). What I really would like to do is go for a more direct approach...if you see a brunette on the evening news going down for arson, you'll know why...(sorry, Scott Walker). And cue Talking Heads...now...

A Homemade Thanksgiving

I was beyond excited for Thanksgiving to arrive! I love the holidays! My family is...everything. Truly, I have so much to be thankful for. God blessed me so much when he made me a Nelson! :)

Delicious pie...

I began cooking on Wednesday, so I baked my very first pumpkin pie, which was an apple butter pumpkin pie. It turned out beautifully! Not to mention, it was delicious, as well! I decided to make cinnamon pecans at the last minute to top it off, along with the maple whipped cream. It was perfect! On Wednesday, I also made cranberry relish and gravy. Since I was doing a maple glaze on the turkey, I didn't want to use the drippings to make gravy, in fear that they'd make the gravy sweet. Instead, I just used stock and froze the gravy overnight. My mom thought we should make ribbon Jell-o, too, and since that's kind of a process, I thought it'd be a good idea to make this a day ahead of time, so I made this on Wednesday, too. Also, I cheated and bought Pillsbury sugar cookies because they had turkeys on them. I just thought they were too cute! I mixed up the spice rub for the turkey and put it on and cured it over night.

How cute is he?!

Pots bubbling and boiling away...

On Thursday, I put the turkey on an hour and a half before I was expecting my brother and his girlfriend. I basted it with the maple-butter glaze several times throughout. Then, I made onion and sage dressing with raisins, apples and celery. Also, I made all the sides I had planned, re-heated the gravy and just waited until the time on the turkey was up. I checked the bird with a meat thermometer and when it reached 170-degrees, I brought it in for my mom to carve. It was AMAZING! I don't think I've ever had turkey so juicy! But, I think that was more the recipe-creator's doing than my own. Steven Raichlen knows what he's doing. He's the grill master.

The feast!

I was really proud of myself for pulling all of this off (everything was completely from scratch...well, with the exception of the Pillsbury cookies). It was all worth it, because everything tasted really good and it was so nice to spend quality time with my family. And I enjoy cooking, anyway, so it's not like it was a hassle in the least for me to do something like this.

Now...I look forward to Christmas dinner! What shall I make? Hmm...

Moody Blues

I haven't been in the mood to write in awhile. I haven't really felt like myself...just been in a really weird mood. I miss my friends. I mean, my close friends...Karina, Mark, etc.

I have decided to hold-off on graduate school, at least for now. I just don't think I have it in me to tackle that right now. I just want to get certified in medical transcription and coding and get a job and get out of here. I feel like I'm not living my life right now...which is kind of an odd feeling. I want something of my own.

I've been looking for a personal trainer, and I think I've found one. I just don't know what the hell I'm doing when it comes to exercising, weight training, especially. I mean, I've looked information up online and everything, but I don't know what is going to be the most beneficial for me and my ankle situation and what is going to give me the best workout possible. I know you should weight train and do a cardio regimen together because you'll burn 300-500 more calories an hour, but I don't want to do more harm than good if I don't have the right form or something. I also want to incorporate hydrotherapy, which I did while I was doing physical therapy during undergrad.

I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving! I've been looking forward to it, but it has seemed so far away for so long, and now...it's nearly here! What are your favorite holiday traditions?

Holiday Cheer

I feel like the holiday bug has bitten everyone early this year! I don't know if it's the American mentality of "go-go-go" or what, but it just seems like everyone is highly anticipating the holiday season. I know that I, for one, am no exception.

I have decided to take the reins on Thanksgiving this year. I couldn't be more excited, truth be told. I'm going to keep it traditional, but of course, put my little twist on things. Thus far, the menu reads as follows:

Maple-Smoked Turkey Breast

(it incorporates an awesome rub that utilizes maple sugar)

Apple, Onion & Sage Dressing

Mashed Potatoes & Gravy

Corn

Cranberry Relish

(no canned, congealed logs of crimson here!)

French Bread Dinner Rolls

Pecan Pie

Apple Butter Pumpkin Pie with Maple Whipped Cream

I'm going to make everything from scratch (or, as much as possibly so) and from locally sourced ingredients when available. 

I can't believe it's November already! I have begun Christmas shopping, too! It all has crept-up so fast! What are your holiday plans?

When I Grow Up...

...I want to own a spice shop. Seriously.

I've had this dream for awhile now. I even have a name for it already...Herbivore. I can picture this cute shop with its shabby chic decor filled with herbs and spices. The back door would open up into a moderately sized greenhouse, where I'd grow everything from sweet basil and Italian flat-leaf parsley to marjoram, oregano, chives and garlic. The walls of the shop would be lined with tiny packets of cayenne pepper and freshly ground cinnamon (among other things, of course). I would have a spice bar where my customers could create custom blends of seasonings. Maybe I'd live in the apartment above my little shop. Ever since I got into gardening and maintaining an herb garden, this has been my ideal "grown-up" job.

If only I had the capital...

Update!

I fixed my computer! I found a screw that had come out, so with the tiniest screw driver I could find (a jewelry screwdriver...and even that was too big...I needed an eyeglass screwdriver, but I worked with what I had), I replaced the screw. I pounded a little near where the computer hit the ground and after a few thumps...voila! Good as new! No more red! This is amazing. I thought for sure I was going to have to pay an insane amount of money to have it fixed (maybe "insane" is a bit too strong of an adjective...but at this point, anything greater than $100 is insane to me). That fact mixed with the original price I had paid, plus the fact that it wasn't even three months old yet, I was just super bummed. I'm so excited...I wish you guys could feel what I feel right now...haha.

Always,
Stina

Oops...

Last night, I was on my computer when it slid off the side of my bed. My comforter is made out of this kind of slippery fabric. I didn't think it was a big deal because my bed isn't all that high...maybe two-and-a-half feet off the ground. Well...when I opened my laptop, the screen had this reddish hue to it. I fixed it somewhat, but now, areas that are supposed to show up as black have these tiny red squares on them. It's kind of hard to explain. Also, my computer landed on the side with all the ports. It was plugged in at the time, so it landed on that cord plug (I don't know what it's called), which dented the left corner a little bit. Bottom line, I haven't even had my MacBook Pro for 90 days and I already managed to drop it. I have the extended, three-year Apple Care on it...but...it doesn't cover accidental damage. I don't know how much it would cost to have it fixed. I guess it really doesn't matter...I doubt it'd be under a hundred bucks, so...I guess I'll have to wait a bit to take it in. I'm so mad at myself.

My 27th birthday came and went...it was very laid-back and relaxing, just as I'd hoped it would be. I didn't want to go out and get drunk or anything like that. I can honestly say that I don't miss drinking. I mean, I have a few drinks every now and then, but as far as drinking like I did in college...there's no way I could do that again.

I'm excited that it's Grey's Anatomy night. For now, I think I'm going to take a nap.

Always,
Stina

Now...Don't Think I'm Crazy...

I have been suffering from chronic headaches (I may have mentioned this in a previous post) for the last month or so. They are very specific: the type of pain is the same, the location of the pain is the same, etc. Usually when I get these headaches, it means I need an increase in my Lyrica dosage (for some reason, my body tends to build-up a tolerance to medication very quickly). Well, I now take the maximum dose (200 mg, three times daily...which is doing absolutely nothing for my waistline, by the way...), so an increase is out of the question. When I brought this up to my pain management doctor (Dawn Nehls), she thought that we should try to treat the headache pain. I've been on midrin, fiorinal and amitriptyline, but nothing is working to relieve the pain. My doctor suggested that she should refer me to a neurologist, because she doesn't know what else to do.

Well, today I saw said neurologist and it was a complete waste of time. The guy treated me like a seeker. I even told him that I haven't taken any narcotic pain killers in at least four months because I hate the way they make me feel. He said that I should titrate off the medicine I take and that since I'm young, I shouldn't have the neurostimulator implanted, either. He pretty much told me I should do the opposite of the management plan Dawn and I have worked hard to tweak over the last seven years. He asked if the headaches happen after migraine triggers (chocolate, alcohol, etc.) or if they make me feel nauseated and they don't. He asked if I'm depressed or anxious about my pain and I told him no, to which he replied that my pain "can't be too serious, then". Wait...so...because I'm not reacting to something I have no control over and cannot change, I don't want pain relief? Really??  He told me that our bodies do miraculous things and that I should exercise more and my body will heal itself. Okay, I know I don't make six figures a year, nor do I have a fancy medical degree, but even I know that cartilage does not regenerate. That's why osteoarthritis exists. So...I can exercise until I'm the fittest woman on the planet...I'm still going to be in pain because I will still be without cartilage in my right ankle. This is what makes me angry about my situation...people who don't have real pain go to the doctor for pills and they ruin things for those of us whose pain is very real and very debilitating. I felt like I wasn't being heard during my appointment (marked by the fact that he asked me the same questions four or five times--which also makes me feel like he thinks I was making stuff up...like he was trying to trip me up or something). So...I guess I'm going to call Dawn on Monday and ask for a referral elsewhere. So frustrating...

After my appointment, I sat in my room, trying to think of possible next steps with this whole thing when it hit me...I couldn't really accurately describe my headaches before...but I thought of it: it feels like I have an ice cream headache (or brain freeze, if you will) all day long. Out of curiosity, I googled "ice cream headache" and discovered the medical term for them is sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. Sphen/o refers to the sphenoid bone, one of the bones that comprises the cranium. Palatine means relating to the palate. "Sphenopalatine" just describes the location/origin of the headache and wasn't nearly as applicable as "ganglioneuralgia". Gangli/o refers to ganglion, which is a group of nerve cells forming a nerve center, especially one located outside the brain or spinal cord. Neur/o pertains to nerves and -algia means pain (Look! My medical terminology course is already paying off!). I have peripheral neuropathy, which is why I take Lyrica in the first place. Is it merely coincidence that when my body is withdrawing from Lyrica, I have these sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia-esque headaches (that was a mouthful!)?!? Also, I came across something called "cervicogenic headaches", which is a headache that is caused from a problem in the spine (such as neuropathy, maybe?). Cervicogenic headaches are also associated with pain, numbness, or weakness of the lower extremities (such as my ankle?), especially if the spinal cord or spinal nerve roots are involved.  Cervicogenic headaches most commonly occur in adults and are not usually associated with nausea, vomiting, visual or hearing changes, and auras. I'm thinking I may have just diagnosed myself (not to sound like a total hypochondriac...).

Now...if only it were Monday so I could talk to Dawn!

Always,
Stina

Hold the Cleaning Products, Please.

On Friday, I picked Jocelyn up from the train station and we checked into our hotel. It was nice, so I'm glad we got our money's worth. That night, we decided to take the Lakefront Brewery tour, which was a blast. I've always wanted to do it, but never got around to it. Their pumpkin ale is amazing...I really want to pick some up. For dinner, we went to my favorite restaurant in Milwaukee, Cubanitas.

Farm Aid on Saturday was great! The food was good, as was the music. It was, by far, the most chill, relaxed concert I've ever been to. Since attending and hearing about "The Good Food" movement, it really just emphasized what I already believe: we shouldn't have to pay more for food that hasn't been fucked around with. Don't treat the animals with antibiotics and hormones...don't "wash" the meat with ammonia...don't flavor it with additives to make it taste like it was intended to in the first place. Food is a basic building block of life. We'll die without it. It's something we all need. But, the food industry has got everything so backward. Everyone just wants to make a quick buck and they'll do whatever it takes to get it. I said before that I really am not into the whole "organic food" movement, but I'm not all for treating food with additives, preservatives and chemicals, either. This really just makes me want to only buy "whole foods" when I go grocery shopping...stuff that's not processed. Convenience foods are nice and everything, but I don't want to eat a bunch of chemicals. Besides, I love making meals entirely from scratch...they taste better, too!

Always,
Christina Ann

Farm Aid!!

I lost a filling on Monday night. So, I went to the dentist today. Turns out...I need about $3500 in dental work. He said he can't re-fill the cavity...it needs a crown. And, another tooth needs a crown. I feel like crying, so instead, I'm going to try really hard to focus on the positive...I'm going to Farm Aid on Saturday!

Since it's so close to my birthday, Jocelyn (my close friend from high school) and I decided to make a whole weekend out of it. She's coming up from Chicago for the weekend and we got a room at the Hyatt Place hotel for Friday and Saturday nights. I'm very excited!

On Saturday, we're going to Farm Aid, which will be awesome! Of course, I really wanted to go because Dave Matthews Band will be there. I can't wait to see them for the second time this year, since they won't be touring next summer, which means there won't be the annual camping trip when they come to Alpine Valley. In addition to DMB, Willie Nelson, Neil Young, John Mellencamp, Kenney Chesney, Norah Jones, Jason Mraz, Jeff Tweedy, Band of Horses, The BoDeans, Amos Lee, Robert Francis, Lukas Nelson and the Promise of the Real, The Blackwood Quartet and Randy Rogers Band will be playing. Music starts at noon and lasts for 12 hours. Did I mention that I'm excited?

Along with the music, there will be locally grown and sustainable food from family farms. Honestly, I'm not so sure I buy into the whole "organic food movement". I do, however, support locally grown produce and food. I think it is so vital that we support family farms and provide a competitive market for them.

I've been looking forward to this weekend since Jocelyn and I first planned it. Good food, great music, wonderful friendship...can it get any better?

Always,
Christina

Happy Birthday?

So...my 27th birthday is exactly two weeks away. I usually don't make a big deal about the whole "getting older" thing. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, 27 is pretty young. Yes, it's another year closer to 30 (when life is doomed and you fall off the face of the Earth...or something like that...I never really understood why women made such a big deal about turning 30...), but who cares? I guess maybe, if I turn 30 and have pretty much nothing to show for the 30 years I've been wandering this Earth, then, yeah...maybe I'll be depressed a bit. But, it's not a huge deal.


Although...

A month or so ago, I was standing in the bathroom, brushing my teeth before bed, when I saw something shimmering in my hair. I inspected the situation a little further and sure enough...it was my first gray hair. I yanked it. Everyone says I shouldn't have done that because more will show up. Oops. Good thing there's hair dye. I asked my mom when she started turning gray and she said not until her mid-30s. Yikes...

And today, this little gem showed up in my mailbox:

The final paragraph in their love note reads: "You'll also appreciate AARP's trustworthy information and resources. It can help you protect your health, your money and your career, and make the most of life over 50." If magazines with products catering to post-menopausal women start showing up, then I'll really start to worry...

Always,

Christina

Autumn

After I rolled out of bed this morning, I showered and got ready for the day. I stripped my bed, since I can't remember the last time I washed my sheets (that's kinda gross...). Once I started the laundry, I thought about changing my bedding over to my warmer stuff. I decided against it, figuring that we'll still have nice weather for a few weeks. Although, maybe I'm just trying to be optimistic, because my ankle is feeling rather raw lately. I can't decide if it's because of the humidity the past few days or if the temperature is actually going to drop for good. Like I said, I'm trying to be optimistic, so let's go with humidity.

I can feel the seasons shift. I love fall. I know this sounds a bit contradictory, since I just got done saying how I'm trying to be optimistic about the weather. But, I like cool days. And by "cool", I mean 60-degrees. Not this -10º stuff the winter seems to love. Anyway...I picked up a fun fall shade of nail polish the other day. It's called "Mocha Blast", but there is a deep plummyness about it, too. So, it's not just flat brown. Also, I have finally found pumpkin spice coffee creamer!

I went on a half-hearted search for a new scent for my plug-in scent things (Febreze makes them...I don't remember what they're called...). The only thing I could find was apple-cinnamon and it was just so...abrasive. Like it was trying too hard to be a "fall scent" or something. No thank you. So...the search continues...

I'm making a pot of beef stew for dinner tonight. It'll be great to have warm, comfort food with this cooler, crisp weather today. I've noticed that the leaves have begun their colorful decent into winter's frigid grasp. Nature has a beautiful way of dying. It's like she's celebrating on the way down.

I have the windows cracked to let in the cool, fresh air. I can hear geese honking their good-byes as they fly away in droves to warmer weather. Sometimes, I wish I could migrate to Mexico for months at a time, too.

Always,
Christina

Re-Vamp

I was looking at my comforter today and realized it's seen better days. Some of the threads have come loose due to my cat's pre-declawed days (yes...I'm cruel...I declawed him). For the most part, it's in good shape...but...I get sick of things after awhile and besides...tastes change. I have a different comforter set that I use during the cooler months. But...I don't know...I feel like a change. I was thinking about these shams and duvet cover. I already have these luxurious 1,000-thread count, white, Egyptian cotton sheets that I love, so...it'd match. Then, I'd just get some cutesy throw-pillows and voila! New look for not alotta cash, which these days, I'm all about. Considering this bedding is from Pottery Barn, I think it's nearly a steal. And for some inexplicable reason, I love yellow right now. I doubt I'll actually make this purchase, but...I needed to get my ideas down somewhere. Anyway...I think it's about time for all good girls to go to bed.

Always,
Stina

Every morning, I have a wake-up routine of sorts...make coffee and check my Google newsfeed. For the past month, several articles have stood out to me, but today, one in particular caught my attention. After reading about Teresa Lewis' death sentence, I immediately thought of Siddiqa in Afghanistan, though the parallel may not be immediately clear.

Killing someone is obviously illegal. Teresa Lewis arranged for her husband and step-son to be murdered. Siddiqa was a willing participant in an "illegal sexual relationship". Teresa Lewis is to die by lethal injection on Thursday (and will be the first woman executed in Virginia since 1912). On August 15, Siddiqa and her lover, Khayyam, were stoned to death by their fathers, brothers, cousins, uncles and neighbors (the first Taliban-ordered stoning in nine years). Both were cases of breaking the law. Both were or will be public executions.

Exodus 21:23 states, "But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise." Mahatma Ghandi said, "An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind." The Bible goes on further to say in Matthew 5, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also...You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." I don't know that any of the parties involved in these cases "deserved" their punishments, necessarily. As an American citizen, I look at what happened with the couple in Afghanistan and I hardly think that eloping is a crime. Especially not one worth torture and death. Maybe citizens of Afghanistan see what happened with Teresa Lewis and feel that hers is not a case worthy of capital punishment (not to say that I do). I don't understand the legal system in America, let alone the Taliban's rule in Afghanistan. I do know that both of these stories made me sad.

Always,
Stina

Olfactory High

I wore Clinique Happy for the first time in months today. The smell nearly immediately took me back to the first time I ever came across that perfume.

We had just landed in Frankfurt, Germany and decided to waste some time in the airport. The airport there was unlike anything I had seen before. I had really only been in small-town airports prior. I was used to seeing the usual over-priced newsstands and eateries as well as tourist-y shops. But in Frankfurt, this airport practically had a mall inside it. Even better, everything was duty-free. I walked into a large store, which honestly just looked like a Macy's. I slowly walked around the perfume counters and came to the Clinique scents. I remember the warm lights, illuminating even the darkest corners. I took the tester from the shelf and spritzed it on the inside of my wrist. The smell was intoxicating to me. I grabbed the box and, along with some incredible, blow-your-mind German chocolate, checked out at the counter.

From that moment on, Clinique Happy sort of became my "signature scent". My friends even called it "the Stina scent". I don't really know why I stopped wearing it...maybe I just wanted a change or something. I was going through some boxes the other day and I came across a full bottle of Clinique Happy. Smelling it took me back to that very specific moment in time when I had taken my first few steps on German soil.

I heard somewhere that scent is the last of your senses to go during your final days. I don't doubt it...

Always,
Stina

Not Your Average Sidewalk Chalk

I know things similar to this have been done before, but I feel like Edgar Mueller is the first artist in a while to get noticed. Watch his process.

His chalk paintings are pretty amazing, to say the least. Passersby are even leery to walk across streets they've traversed multiple times before, scared they'll fall into the Earth. From Ireland to Canada, London to Germany, Mueller's 3-D creations have been changing the face of towns, literally. Check it out...

The Crevasse--Dun Laoghaire, Ireland

London

Geldern, Germany

Pretty amazing...

Always,

Christina

Et Cetera

I won't miss days like today, that is for certain. An extremely intense headache woke me up early this morning. I could feel my heartbeat radiating through my eyes! I took some Excedrin and tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't--the pain kept me awake. It was centering right above my eyes and I knew it was from the Lyrica I take every day...my body's built up a tolerance. Normally in this situation, I have my dosage increased. However, not so this time...I take the maximum dose every day. My pain management doctor prescribed fiorinal for the headaches. Yet, another controlled substance. This is like...#5 or something. I sure hope my doctors are talking to each other...I do not want to look like a seeker (although, they're the ones who are being loose with the prescription pad, not me, so...) That's alright...I hope this works.

Days like today, do, however, remind me that soon, I'll be titrated off Lyrica because...drumroll please...I will be getting a neurostimulator implanted in my back! Hooray! I am very excited about this! A neurostimulator is a device that delivers electrical signals to the epidural space near the spine through leads. The electrical stimulation intercepts the pain signal before it reaches the brain and masks the signal of pain. The neurostimulator is controlled by remote, so I really am going to become the Bionic Woman! Hopefully, I won't have problems with neuropathy any longer. The process to have this (installed?) implanted is kind of lengthy. First, I have to have a psych. eval. done...I guess some people have freaked out about having a foreign body implanted in the past, so now, it's just standard-issue to be evaluated. I can't wait for this neuropathy business to be (semi-) laid to rest.

On a completely separate note...I thought I'd post some fun links. I only have a few...I've been kind of pre-occupied with grad school stuff and medical transcription stuff. Anyway, here we go...

• Finally! The age-old question has been answered! What the fuck should you make for dinner tonight? Well, why don't you fucking ask? No, really, ask WhatTheFuckShouldIMakeForDinner.com. Click on the suggestion for the recipe, or if it doesn't sound appetizing, keep scrolling through.
• Ahhh...a website after my own heart! Freerice.com kills two birds with one stone by helping to improve your vocab skills while also donating 10 grains of rice to World Food Programme with each correct answer. Very cool.
• This one is probably not very much fun for guys, but I like it. OPI.com has a fun simulator that allows you to try on its full spectrum of colors. I really like wearing odd and unexpected shades on my toenails (Teal the Cows Come Home, for instance) and this site helps me decide on my next fun bottle.

I'm making some strong headway on my statement of purpose. Hooray! The light at the end of the tunnel!

Always,

Stina

When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie, That's Amore.

Today, I want to talk about something near and dear to my heart. Something I am passionate about. Something I just don't think I could give up for any significant amount of time (maybe a month, tops). Something deserving of its very own blog entry! Pizza. Delectable, delightful, delicious pizza.

My favorite pizza is a thin crust with pepperoni, green peppers, onions and mushrooms for toppings. I have experienced a true Chicago-style deep-dish pizza while in Chicago with my bff, Karina (yes, I really did just say bff). It was delicious, don't get me wrong. It's just so heavy (not that pizza is necessarily something you eat if you want to eat light). One piece and I had to tap out. I just prefer a nice, crispy crust. On occasion, if I want to go the cheap route  (the brain-child of Ryan and I), I'll get a pepperoni Home Run Inn frozen pizza and add fresh onions, green peppers and mushrooms. It hits the spot every time.

Growing up in Racine, there were really only two places you would go for Italian food. That's not to say there were only two options, because that is definitely not the case. But true Racinians knew if you wanted pasta and other Italian dishes, you'd go to Infusino's. If you wanted pizza, you'd go to DeRango's (although, the pizza at Infusino's isn't bad, either).

DeRango's is the diviest dive of all dives. I remember going there when I was younger...the same barstools at the counter today were there when they opened the place. I would go there with my parents to pick up the pizza and while we waited, I would have a Coke at the counter. Cesar, one of the brothers who owns the place (and is straight off the boat) would talk to me and I would watch in wonder as the guys would do magic behind the counter, feeding dough through rollers, then cutting it into a large disc freehand, without tracing it or anything (and to my seven-year-old astonishment, every time, it came out perfectly). They'd swirl big ladlefuls of crimson sauce onto the pale, alabaster crust, pile heaping handfuls of shredded mozzarella cheese on top, then dole out the toppings faster than a Blackjack dealer in Vegas. Once it was prepared to your specifications, they'd take an over-sized, wooden pizza paddle and transfer your pie to the biggest oven I had ever seen.

Not much has changed at DeRango's since its inception. They still use the same to-go packaging for take-out orders (large, white, envelope-like bags emblazoned with the colors of the Italian flag and stapled shut) that inevitably gets stained with large grease spots, making the paper nearly translucent, but that's part of the charm. Cesar is still there, and yes, he actually still remembers me from my days of hammin' it up with a Coke at the counter.

Funny how certain things (food, music, places, etc.) can take you back to very specific memories...the smell, the noises, images that flash through your mind...all very palpable moments in our lives.

Always,
Stina

Bon Appetit!

For the longest time (mostly my pre-undergrad years), I thought I wanted to go to culinary school. Today, I know better. I think culinary school would ruin my love for cooking. I don't care that I'm not voiced in molecular gastronomy or that I don't chiffonade basil onto a plate before serving. So what if I'll never have a single Michelin star? Who cares if I don't prepare sweet breads in my kitchen on a regular basis? I do, however, know how to make good food. I delight in creating meals for my friends and family.

I started to really get into cooking during college, when I moved into my own apartment. Being away from home, I longed for the comfort foods with which I was raised. Family recipes. My mom's family didn't have a lot of money when she was growing up, so my grandma did what she could with what they had. As it turned out, her recipes quickly became some of my favorites.

Now, I would much rather go out to eat at some local, hole-in-the-wall, mom-and-pop restaurant than experience "fine dining". It's overpriced, so contrived and extremely pretentious. All I want are fresh ingredients, seasoned properly. I don't believe that eating well should be reserved for the elite.

I would hardly consider myself a "foodie"...I'm just a girl who uses cooking as a medium to show my love.

Always,
Stina

Random Musings...

Has anyone else seen the recent commercial for McDonald's featuring Donald Driver? I can't find it online anywhere, but basically, it's a commercial for their new Angus Snack Wraps. Driver gives people weird clay creations and then the video cuts to him sitting at a pottery wheel, Snack Wrap in one hand, clay in the other. He's so focused on his Snack Wrap (I think it may start to fall out of his hand or something...but don't quote me), the clay turns into this lopsided mess. Then the commercial states how the Snack Wraps are so delicious, you can't let go of them (or something along those lines). Let's think about this for a second. Donald Driver. Wide receiver for the Green Bay Packers. Football. Can't let go. Am I the only one who sees the connection here? Donald Driver making pottery was the best they could come up with? I know I'm just an unemployed nobody, but...wouldn't it make more sense to have a commercial that went something like this: Final play of the game. Driver's in the end zone, open all day. Packers are down by five. Driver misses the pass because he doesn't want to let go of his Snack Wrap. Packers lose. I mean...come on... And yet...I can't find a job to save my life...

I came across this video this morning. It is definitely hilarious and that guy is out of control. Now, watch this video. Notice any similarities?

Always,
Stina

Today Was a Waste of Makeup...

I don't know how much longer I can take being unemployed. Therefore, I've enlisted the help of a temp agency. I never thought it would come to this. But...desperate times call for desperate measures, right? So...today, I "interviewed" with Seek. I put that in quotations because it was so not the kind of interview I was expecting. I showered and got ready and drove down to Milwaukee. Once there, I realized I could have shown up in jeans and a T-shirt and it wouldn't have made one bit of difference. I guess I was expecting that they'd place me in a specific job for 90 days and then it'd be up to the employer if they wanted to hire me on or not. Not so. After filling out some paperwork...checking some boxes...going over some addresses, the woman gave me a booklet and told me to call the number on the front once a week to find out if they had work for me. That's it. Totally not what I had expected...

Anyway...

I've been working on my graduate statement of purpose and I just feel so hopeless! In my head, I know why I want to go to graduate school, so to me, what I have written makes sense. But...when I ask my friend to look it over, it comes back with half the salvageable content. My friend has been amazing throughout this whole process, though. He's in graduate school at Stanford, so he knows what it takes to get in, having written two previously. I will have Ryan look at it as well, but I don't want him to see it until I've gotten it perfect. Pretty sure he's going to be my toughest critic...

When I was wasting time online, I found a fantastic Web site...1000 Awesome Things. I've been tackling it a little at a time. It really is, in fact, full of awesome things! Take a gander...

Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely adore penguins! I truly believe that you can't be mad or sad if you're looking at a penguin. Lately, this guy is my favorite:

How can you not love him? He's an adelie...I wish I could keep him...

Always,

Stina

What I Love Right Now...

To make it easier on the eyes, I think I will bullet-point this post...

• Fall clothing lines!
• I get super excited for fall every year, and this year is no exception! I don't really have a "style" per se...I just wear what I like...which usually means jeans and a cute top. I'm also very much a sweater-person. In fact, I just went through my sweaters and weeded-out ones I no longer wish to keep and I am very sad to report that one of my favorite sweaters is ruined and will be headed to the trash can. I packed it away with a tomato stain on it last year! Who does that?! So...that stain is now a year old and despite my best efforts, I could not get it out. You failed me, Billy Mays. Oxi Clean did NOT put its maximum oxygenated effort to full use! I even tried to bleach it...it looked exactly the same coming out of the washer as it did going in (I know what you're thinking...why am I putting a sweater in the washing machine and not getting it dry cleaned? Certain sweaters, I'm fine with putting them in the wash...). I had expected that it would at least change to some other tone of green, but it didn't even do that! I digress...
• Pumpkin spice lattes!
• Starbucks, you are my hero. LOVE the pumpkin spice...

• Yankee Candle's Farmer's Market scent!
• This candle smells just like fall to me! Slightly sweet and fruity, slightly spicy from nutmeg and cinnamon goodness, it is just awesome! I'm pretty sure it's a new scent...but...maybe not.

• Keeping my bedroom window open at night!
• I sleep best when I'm cold. In fact, I was gassing-up my car one day and the John Tesch Radio Show was on over the loud speakers and he said that 68-degrees is the ideal temperature for the bedroom. So...not "cold" by any means, but cool.
• Salsa jack cheese!
• I am just enamored with this stuff. I hate that it's so expensive, though. For one pound, it's about $4 or so. I have re-claimed my love for spicy food now that I've got my acid reflux under control and salsa jack cheese is spicier than pepper jack and also, I think it has more flavor. Another thing I love about it...it's made in Brownsville, WI, which is awesome, considering we're "America's Dairyland" and everything. And as far as I can tell, happy cows live here, too. If you can get your hands on some, DO IT!

Well, that is all for now from this girl. It's time for me to pop a movie in and get to bed.

Always,

Stina

New Home!

I've decided I needed to re-vamp my blog...the old one was a few years old and the tone/content just wasn't relevant for me anymore. The old blog may still be accessed at: http://tinsel-tiara.livejournal.com.

So...to new beginnings! Kampai!

Always,
Stina