Orientation = Syllabus Day

Job orientation is very similar to the first day of classes for the semester...you get an overload of paperwork and information which everyone forgets five minutes after walking out the door. Let's not forget the endless powerpoints in which the presenter will read to you everything that appears on the overhead screen (which is mind-numbing at best). A powerpoint on hand washing? Really?! Facts about medical errors? Isn't this why I went to school? If there is a code pink called (child abduction), call security if you encounter crying coming from a book bag. No shit. As I sat in the darkened conference room, fighting off the urge to sleep and trying to quiet my rumbling stomach as I smelled lunch, I wished hard for the super power of time travel. Sadly, as I looked at the clock, willing the hands to move faster, it was only 11:42. Sigh. Five more hours. At least there's only one day of this nonsense. And hey, at least I have a job for which I need orientation. And...I got free swag. Pens and stress balls for everyone!